So I’m not a huge horror movie fan but I don’t actively avoid them either. As such, I’ve seen a few zombie movies and some hack and slash gory movies in my time. You would think that the goal of these movies would be to prepare you for real life. You want to be ready when the zombie apocalypse happens, right?
Well…I can tell you that the opposite is true at least in one case.
This weekend, my son got a nosebleed. No big deal. He gets them from time to time. His older sister got them when she was younger, not so much now. My wife and I both got them when we were kids.
We were hanging out, having a quiet Saturday evening watching a movie. Nothing active. My son had played in a soccer game earlier in the day, but he didn’t get hit in the face or have any falls. So his nosebleed was surprising. Not in the fact that he had one, but in its fervency.
This was a gusher.
So he was sitting on the floor in the living room holding a Kleenex to his face and I was on the couch. He turned to say something and then turned back. Slowly, my brain processed what it had seen, but it was refusing to believe it. Blood had welled up in his left eye and had just started to overflow his lower lid, spilling onto his cheek.
We pulled the Kleenex away for a moment to look and it just gushed. This wasn’t a trickle. Not a “one little tear at the end of a sad movie” type of thing. It was gushing blood almost as fast as his nose was.
So we put the New Kittens away and bundled my son away to the ER at the local Pediatric hospital.
It was surprising how busy the pediatric ER was at 9:00 on a Saturday night. Apparently, there are a lot of hard-partying children in our area. We waited for about 90 minutes in the waiting room, during which we finished off half a box of Kleenex as his eye and eventually his nose slowly stopped bleeding.
We were finally shown to a room and pulled the last Kleenex away from his nose literally less than a minute before the doctor came in. At this point, it was 11:30 at night and his nosebleed had lasted just over three hours. And there was basically nothing left to show the doctor. Fortunately (and I never thought I would utter these words prefaced with “Fortunately…”), there was some residual blood on his eyelashes to prove to the doctor that it had happened. Also, three of the intake nurses had seen it. Neither the doctor nor any of the nurses had ever seen that happen before.
But none of them were terribly worried about it, either. The tear ducts are connected to the nasal passages so it stands to reason that if you block an excess of blood from coming out of the nose, it would try to find some other way out. A lot of it went down his throat. And what was left found its way out of his eye.
So they sent us home with a nice pat on the head and a follow-up visit with an ENT this week. We got home and got the kids to bed.
And as they were sleeping peacefully in their rooms, I lay awake in my own bed with every image of a eye-bleeding zombie I’d ever seen in a movie flashing through my head…with my son’s face. ‘Twas a fitful night’s sleep to say the least.